Definition: To drain air into and expel from the lungs; to rest before continuing.
“Breathe. Let go. An remind yourself that this very moment is the only one you know you have for sure.”
It is interesting – as I go about my days, searching for the clues of life, obsessing about this or that, I forget to breathe. While I understand the theory which concludes breathing to be involuntary, I still seem to run out of air. Until I remember to physically assist this basic life support function, it feels as though a bomb is ticking down, waiting to explode. This is my norm. Fear of impending doom which never seems to come, yet I fully believe that it will. Hyper-vigilant, I crawl into my hole to wait for something to happen.
What will actually occur in these instances is my heart will race, my breaths are shallow, my eyes are wide, and my mind cloudy. It is in those moments when I am ready for death to take me by the hand and take it all away. There is little that I, or anyone can do to ease this feeling. To all those that might suffer from the same, my deepest empathy.
Yesterday, during my day of kindness, I was feeling so overwhelmed that I had to close all doors and blinds in my house and shut out the world. I was unbelievably nervous, as if I was looking over my shoulder to only find empty black spaces. I was scared about life, job, health, my dog, my wife. I was anxious that something was about to happen and I couldn’t control any of it. I want to have that control, over everything, and it is not always worth the time or effort to do so. I become obsessed. I can’t help but suffer through thinking about everything, over-analyzing each little detail of life. Right now I feel as though it is all building up to some kind of giant firework display.
Today, I want to try a trick as old as life – breathing. Often I need to remind myself to do so.For whatever reason, I believe that a mindful breath can allow you to remember the present moment. Biologically, you are giving yourself the support it needs. Mentally, an inhale brings in good intentions while the exhale departs with bad dreams. All of that in a single breath.
Mindful breathing has been practiced over many years and across cultures. While I do not claim to be proficient at it, I do frequently go back to trying it. It is my intention today to remember this as I drift through whatever life might pitch. I can feel myself settling into what might turn into a self implosion so even the act of a simple breathe can only help.